


Keep Me Guessing (Please)

by jazsy



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: AU, Elena is awesomesauce, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-01
Updated: 2012-12-01
Packaged: 2017-11-19 23:24:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,009
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/578781
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jazsy/pseuds/jazsy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Arthur learns that not taking a risk can be a risk in and of itself.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Keep Me Guessing (Please)

**Author's Note:**

> This definitely stretched my writing abilities and I'm happy about the way it turned out. Written for ravyn_ashling's prompt of The Tension and the Terror by Straylight Run, as seen from Arthur's pov. I then played pinball with her kinks and tried to hit as many as I could (I think I scored pretty well). Thanks so much to my sparkly beta, analineblue! ♥ Written for merlin_holidays 2011.

"Well, I think that's the last of it," Merlin says, gingerly placing his violin case on the passenger seat of the car and then carelessly slamming the door shut. Arthur is about to roll his eyes when out of the corner of his vision he sees Elena throwing him yet another pointed look toward Merlin. He shakes his head at her, again; she's been hinting since the moment they arrived to help Merlin pack up his car for college. She's also been finding progressively more obvious excuses to leave Arthur and Merlin alone.  
  
"Oh, is that my phone?" she asks, reaching into her bag to pull it out.  
  
"I didn't hear it ri-"  
  
"It's on vibrate," she interrupts, her look conveying the unspoken  _you idiot, I'm trying to help you out here_. She makes a big show of checking to see who it is before she gives Merlin a sweet, disappointed smile. "I really have to take this. I'll be back in a few," she says, and walks around to the side of the house, her loud  _Hello? Hi! Yes, of course I have_ plenty _of time to talk..._  trailing after her.  
  
Arthur turns back to Merlin, who is standing with his hands tucked into the front pockets of his jeans. His skinny wrists stick out from his beat up bomber jacket, and he's leaning forward a little, watching Arthur. Waiting.  
  
Arthur steps toward him and takes a breath. He looks straight into Merlin's incredible eyes and finds Merlin looking back at him just as intently. Arthur parts his lips to speak-  
  
but he can't.  
  
It's not that Arthur doesn't know how he feels about Merlin, because he does. It's that...he doesn't know what to say, yeah. How do you tell someone that you wake up thinking about him, and fall asleep thinking about him, and think about him for most of the day (thank god for unlimited text messaging)? How do you tell someone that his smile is literally devastating, weak knees and stomach butterflies and stupid grins in all? How do you tell someone that you've been dying to kiss him for two years, ever since you interrupted his practice session in the band room as a sophomore transfer student looking for the pool?  
  
Once, after four shots of his father's tequila, Arthur had asked Elena these questions. She slapped him on the side of the head and answered, "You say it to him exactly how you just said it to me."  
  
When he tried to interrupt with a how impossible that was, she had pressed a hand over his mouth, looked deep into his eyes, and said, "You know what to say, Arthur. You're just chickenshit."  
  
(Then Elena had hugged him, because, she said, she was someone who had faced a lot of truths about herself and usually needed a hug afterward.)  
  
Alright, so it isn't that he doesn't know what to say to Merlin. It's that he' s unsure of what would follow.  
  
Arthur would like to think that Merlin would be moved by his speech and kiss him, or let Arthur kiss him and kiss back, but he's not sure. Therein lies the problem; his reputation as the strong, confident captain of the swim team and eloquent leader for Model U.N. is well-earned: he is always absolutely sure of his course. Except. There's just something about Merlin that makes him  _un_ sure. It's probably partly the two years Merlin has on him. It's also that Merlin might be a lot of things, but insecure isn't one of them. Arthur has got to believe that if Merlin wanted to kiss him, he would have by now. Lord knows he's had plenty of chances.  
  
Arthur ignores Elena's voice in his head telling him that he's had the same number of chances- more than he'd ever expected, in fact. Arthur had been secretly elated when Merlin had decided to live at home for a year after high school and save up money for college, and resolved to not waste the opportunity. But he always managed to convince himself that it wasn't the right moment.  
  
Arthur has never been ready. Ready to tell Merlin, oh yes. Ready to be rejected? No.  
  
And there's what's at the heart of the beast. Arthur thinks, no, he  _knows_  he couldn't handle being shot down by Merlin. Merlin would never be mean about it, of course, but things would be awkward between them for the rest of forever, and eventually they'd drift apart until Merlin was just an anecdote in his life story. The thought of that makes the back of his throat feel like it's closing up. So no. His life would be full of holes without Merlin, and Arthur would rather live in uncertainty, guessing about Merlin's feelings for him, than know for sure that Merlin doesn't want him that way at all.  
  
"Arthur?" Merlin asks, shaking him by the shoulder.  
  
And now here they are.  
  
"I knew you'd be just like a lost little kitten without me around-" Merlin gets cut off as he dodges Arthur's attempt to cuff him on the side of the head, but continues, laughing, "-but I didn't think it would start so soon."  
  
Arthur settles for shoving Merlin to the side and rolling his eyes. "Please. With you finally gone, I'll have more time to hang around with company actually worthy of me." He raises his chin and looks to the side haughtily, not wanting Merlin to see his eyes.  
  
He waits for a witty retort from Merlin (something about that company being rats, maybe), but none comes. Instead, Merlin bumps Arthur's shoulder with his own. Arthur bumps him back, and they stay close together like that.  
  
"I am going to miss you," Merlin says quietly.  
  
Arthur turns to look at him, and finds Merlin gazing out straight ahead. The knots are back in Arthur's stomach. He takes a deep breath again, but Merlin turns his head to look at Arthur, and god, he's so close and he smells so good and-  
  
Arthur forces a smug smile and says, "Of course you will."  
  
And this whole thing with Merlin has clearly driven him crazy, because he thinks that Merlin sighs a little, that Merlin's smile is tighter than normal, and that when Merlin hugs him goodbye, he presses his lips, quick and light, to the skin behind Arthur's ear.  
  
(Crazy.)  
  
\---  
  
"I don't understand," Elena says later that night, as they lie sprawled in the grass, staring up at the dark sky.  
  
"I didn't tell him because then I don't have to lose him-"  
  
"You don't even  _have_ -"  
  
"You know what I mean."  
  
"But what do you think's going to happen now, Arthur?" Elena rolls to her side to look at him and props her head up on her hand. "Now he's off to this new, awesome place with new, awesome people who will all think he's the shit- you know they will- and how long do you think it will be before one of them asks him out?"  
  
Arthur's stomach curls uncomfortably at that thought.  
  
"And as you've made it pretty clear that you aren't going to make a move, he'll figure, what's he got to lose?"  
  
"You don't know that he feels that way about me."  
  
"You don't know that he doesn't! That isn't the point, Arthur."  
  
Her tone is exasperated, and suddenly Arthur is pissed off- at the situation, at himself, and at Elena for never just letting him be miserable. He raises himself up on his elbows and glares at her. "Then what is the point? Does it involve helping me feel better at all?"  
  
"Only if you  _listen_ , Arthur."  
  
Arthur flops back down in the grass and throws his arms above his head in response. Elena moves closer and brushes some fringe out of his face.  
  
"Arthur, you say you don't want anything to change, but it already has. You and Merlin have different lives now. Face it, you probably won't be as close anymore..."  
  
Elena is still talking, but Arthur isn't listening anymore because realization hits him like a freight train.  
  
He'd thought that by never taking action, he'd never have to face any repercussions. He'd forgotten that doing nothing was an action in and of itself. If Arthur wants a shot at keeping Merlin close, and fuck does he ever, there's only one move he can make.  
  
He leaps up from the ground and takes off running, leaving Elena startled and shouting behind him.  
  
\---  
  
Arthur gets a little lost when he reaches the campus, but fortunately Siri isn't being a bitch and leads him to Merlin's dorm. He knocks on Merlin's door, and when it doesn't open right away, fear spikes through him, fear that Merlin isn't here and Arthur is too late-  
  
-but then the door opens and Merlin is gaping at him, looking completely endearing in an old t-shirt and plaid pajama pants.  
  
"Arthur? What are you doing here?" Merlin asks, and god, it might be the crazy thing again, but Arthur swears he hears a hopeful note in Merlin's voice.  
  
"I missed you," is all Arthur can think to say before he takes hold of all the courage he's ever had and fits his mouth against Merlin's.  
  
Merlin is unresponsive for one terrifying moment, but then he wraps his arms around Arthur's back and pulls him in tight, tilting his head down to make the angle of the kiss better. Arthur winds his arms around Merlin's neck, sliding a hand into Merlin's hair, partly to feel it between his fingers and partly to make sure Merlin can't pull back because  _god_ this is so, so good. Merlin tastes like dark chocolate and the mint from his organic chapstick and Arthur just can't get enough of his mouth (fortunately, Merlin seems to feel the same way about Arthur). Merlin slides a hand underneath Arthur's t-shirt to run up his spine, and Arthur can't suppress a shiver because how many times has he watched Merlin play the violin and dreamt of having those long, elegant fingers on his skin?  
  
They pull apart a little, panting, and Merlin tugs Arthur closer and nuzzles into his hair. The way Merlin's head is turned, Arthur can see his ear and suddenly flashes back to the ninja kiss Merlin gave him earlier that day. He kisses Merlin in the same spot, right behind his ear, using his tongue a little so that he can taste Merlin's skin. Merlin gives a small moan, and Arthur is all at once aware of how closely their bodies are pressed together. He kisses that same spot again, opening his mouth more to make it a little dirtier, and strokes a hand from Merlin's hairline down the back of his neck. Merlin groans as he skims his mouth along the side of Arthur's neck, grazing the skin just a little with his teeth, and when he reaches the juncture of Arthur's neck and shoulder, he bites down.  
  
Arthur gasps  _oh fuck jesus yes_  and moans something that doesn't even come close to words when Merlin kisses the spot tenderly and then bites him again.  
  
Arthur doesn't even realize how loud he's being until he hears it echo in the empty hallway. Merlin lifts his head up as he hears it too, and gives Arthur a grin before pulling him back into the room, shutting the door, and pressing Arthur up against it. It doesn't go any further than that, however; Merlin is so close but just looking at Arthur, smiling like he can't help it, and he looks so gorgeous, hair rumpled, cheeks flushed, mouth red, that Arthur can't help grinning back.  
  
They stare at each other for a minute before Merlin chuckles, shaking his head, and says, "God, finally. I thought you were on a mission to keep me guessing  _forever_."  
  
Arthur tilts his head back and laughs, and at Merlin's confused look he wants to explain everything, he really does, but he wants to kiss Merlin again even more.  
  
(So he does.)


End file.
